having a baby

because i am a super lazy person with limited time - and i will have vistiors tomorrow, therefore the whole house needs some desperate cleaning - i´ve decided to wrap the whole birthstory up in one big post. stay with me, okay?

since baby girl could not be persuaded to show up in time - and i´ve tried hard to make that happen, believe me! - i had to be induced by sunday.

we went to the hospital in the morning, got checked in and were exited. we should´nd have been. it took forever and a day for the gel procedure to be started ( i could not be induced via pills or drip bc of the prior c-section i had to have with the twins ). so i laboured merrily till wednesday when the gods in white decided to try something new. well, it was technically the midwifes who decidet this, which was incidentally quite good bc when i saw "my" doctor this morning she told me, that the doctors council deliberated on my case and that they would get baby girl via c-section if she would not come out on her own till the next morning.

my midwife wanted to try the whole range of methods at her disposal. this meant even more gel, another really painfull sweeping of the membrane, acupuncture and even more fun walking!

i had contractions since sunday. on wednesday evening after the ctg - i had them thrice a day - they grew more and more painful and the midwife decided to let me stay in one of the delivery rooms. i had a discussion with the husband about wether he should go back to his parents - big boy was there, the twins were with my parents but would have been already asleep by then, it was around 7:30 h - or stay with me in case it may really happen tonight for which the whole they-let-me-stay-in-the-delivery-room was a hint. we decided that he should stay and went on with labouring - me and snoozing - husband.

around 10 the contractions were so bad i did not know what to do anymore. i paced, tried to ly down and bounced on the ball pretty much constantly rotating. when the midwife was there at 24:00 i was still only dialated to 3 cm, same as i had been for 3 days. i pretty much broke down. all this labour for four days straight and nothing to show for. i thought this baby would never come out of its own. when i needed to go to the toilet half an hour later i had to clutch the railing and cry-pant all the way, the pain was so excrutiating. this was getting too much. but i was determent to have this baby naturally, i feared the looming c-section really badly. when i tried to get back to the delivery room, the midwife snatched me and took me back to the restroom and broke my water to speed things further up. doing this she measured me again at 3 cm.

when i was back at the room i tried to lie down to sleep a whee bit but baby was having none of it. suddenly and out of nowhere the contractions were so bad and fast that i was writhing and i thought i would not survive this. i never felt anything like this before and i already had 3 kids. i have never heard of anything like that either. the pain, that never seemed to stop and to fill me out down to the last pore was so bad that i thought i was actually going crazy.

my husband became quite angsty and rightly so. a pain so deep in your foundation so all-consuming i tought that i would just die. i screamed in a ferral, animalistic kind of way and he finally ran to find a doctor.
the doctor and the midwifes came running. i´m sure they thought i was faking, because the doctor actually asked me if i wanted an epidural. in between screaming i told her that she was coming NOW. the doctor said that this was impossible since i was only at 3 cm. one of the midwifes had the bright idea to take down my pants and take a look. i was dialated to 10 and they could see the head.

after that revelation all hell broke loose. the doctor screamed that we´re having a precipitate delivery here and that someone should run and get her the head of departement, the midwifes spinned around, pushed my husband beside my had and yelled that i should not push. since it was the only thing i could do that was not at all helpfull. one minute later the senior physician was there, the midwifes had my legs and i pushed her out.

from 3 to 10 cm in 20 minutes. no wonder that i thought i would die or go crazy. and i think i missed either just by a thread. i was torn. badly. torn till uterus. the stitching up took 2 1/2 h. one of the midwifes thought they would loose me bc of the bloodloss. but i made it. and she was there. oh so perfect and just wonderfull!